Funerals and Getting Over God

Marla’s funeral was something. A real tribute to an amazing woman, rather than a weeping and wailing mourning service. I saw people I hadn’t seen for 34 years, and had to introduce myself to lots of people.

Some of you know, I’m working on a memoir about my life as a Pastor’s Wife. That chapter of my life ended twenty years ago; however, the effects of it linger…I don’t feel as if there are any lasting negative effects, once I got over my guilt for leaving the life.

Now, I think the effects are simply that I think seriously about spiritual matters. I can’t take them lightly, even though sometimes I’d like to. I read any essay by Julia Sweeney (thanks, Stever), and many of her struggles were exactly parallel to mine. Her final conclusion is that there can be no god. I guess I still struggle with reaching that final conclusion, but I’m thinking about it a lot. Maybe I’ll keep you posted!

Funeral

I’m heading to Iowa this afternoon. My cousin Marla died, and I need to be down there with my family. It’s hard to believe. She died of cancer and has been sick a long time, but she was only two grades ahead of me in school. It’s very strange.

I’m reading The Secret Life of Bees right now and I don’t want to put it down. I should never start a good book when I’m this close to finals week and grading research papers! Ack! But I recommend the book. Great voice, great main characters. Complex emotions, and Sue Monk Kidd’s prose is amazing. Beautiful.